Putting your mental health first.

Trigger warning. Mentions of suicide, SH, and other possible triggering topics.

I should start off with the possibility of things being triggering, as some topics I want to talk about in this blog post. And this may be a long one.

something that's important to me is mental health, and how it's important to put it first, above things like a position at work that's stressing you out and causing harm to your mental health, or family and relationship situations that can be hard on you mentally.

I guess I can start out talking about my struggles.

ive struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, I was always very shy growing up and socializing was something I kinda hated. And still kinda hate to be completely honest. I'm more of a homebody, and like to keep my friend group fairly small. 
I've also struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts since middle school, it was hard for me to talk about how I was feeling with people because I felt like I couldn't trust them or no one would believe me. I suffered in silence a lot. As the years went on, it obviously never got any better because I never asked for help, not until I was 20 years old and realized I couldn't live life anymore suffering and finally went and got diagnosed and put on medication.  
I started medication and things started getting a bit better, until I started a higher dose of my antidepressant and had what I only could've assumed was a manic episode, because that was the best way I could describe it to my doctor. And that's when I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. Obviously it was a little soul crushing because I was still in denial that it was all actually real and that's what I now have to live with forever.

fast forward to now and I seem to have found the right medication combination, I've been doing so much better since I started all the medications I'm currently taking, and it took finding the ones that work, which is hard when you feel better for a little bit and then just spiral back to feeling how you did before the medication. But I'm on the right ones and have an amazing support system. Some days are better than others, but I know there are people who love and care about me and will always be there for me. And I love them all dearly.

It's very disheartening that mental health isn't taken seriously, SO many people struggle with it everyday. It's a hard thing to deal with, to live with. People who struggle are told they're faking it, or "its all in your head, you'll be fine". I mean, it literally is in your head. 
Please don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help, yes it's scary, but I promise you it is worth it. It takes time finding what works for you, but don't give up. Because you will find what works for you. 

Never feel bad for putting you and your mental health first, in any situation. No one can take care of you except for you. But you can always ask for help. Don't let anyone try to tell you anything else otherwise.

If you need a safe place and someone to talk to, I will always have an ear to listen. There are also hotlines you can contact as well.

put. Your. Mental. Health. First.

you are loved, and there are people that are proud of you. Always remember that. <3